I got a personal-looking letter in the mail today (the day before my wife's inurnment service). I couldn't quite place who the sender was but the name didn't seem totally unfamiliar; I imagined it could be a friend-of-family-friend sort of person. So, I opened it.
Inside was a form letter that never mentioned me or Jo by name at all, superimposed on a faint picture of some puppies:
"First and most importantly, may I offer my condolences on the passing of your loved one. I am sincerely sorry for your loss.
The reason I am contacting you is I understand there may be a house available for purchase. If there is real estate that needs to be sold, I may be able to help. Please note that I am not a realtor and do not wish to list the property. I would like to BUY the property. I understand that losing a loved one is very difficult and the property being sold may not be a priority for the family but taking care of this now will save the estate time and extra estate/sale fees.
I am able to pay cash, settle without contingencies, and close as quickly as you'd like. I buy the house "as is" so you don't have to worry about repairs or updates. You can leave unwanted items in the house and you don't even need to clean.
I am available to discuss the details with you and would also be interested in purchasing other items in the home. If what I do seems like it may help you, please call me at [666-VUL-TURE]."
Firstly, I find myself feeling sorrow for all the people who are too desperate, and too bereaved, not to just be offended by this--who reply and sign up to be, presumably, taken advantage of. There must be a lot of them, if this can be what she does for a living.
I think it would be less offensive if the letter were businesslike and the name of her home-flipping corporation were on the outside, instead of all this handwritten-envelope and hazy-puppies stuff. I don't know this person. Although I do know her kind--a Belmont knows a vampire when she encounters one.
And then, there's just a part of me that is feeling like, you know, it is hard enough to try to push back against the darkness right now, when my star is feeling further away than ever; and then there's this letter that I think might be sympathy from someone who cared about her, but no, it's just a letter from a parasite.
It's like if you were drowning, and then there's a ship, and you think the person on board is throwing you a life preserver, but then they throw you a shark instead.
I won't say I hate people. But I do hate vampires and parasites.