Sunday, May 22, 2016

Incompatible

I think loss can sometimes beget more loss.  I just had to cut the thread to someone I actually liked.  I hate it, because this person is going through her own personal hardship right now, but sometimes things just have to be.

Life can be so complicated, can't it?  Sometimes, there's someone who is honestly a good person, but they just aren't good for you.  Not all good things mix well.
Like, hamburgers are really good.  Ice cream is really good.  Hamburgers with ice cream on top would not be good.
Playing with my German Shepherd Bodie is good.  Going to a glassware store is also good.  I wouldn't dream of trying to do both of those things at the same time, they wouldn't mix well.

I just got home from my wife's inurnment service.  It went very well, by the way.  Her sister was awesome and gave a very moving and emotional goodbye; I stood next to her trying to give her strength, and I think I got strength in return; I was even able to say a few things myself.  The Air Force Honor Guard was a great tribute; they played 'Taps' on the bugle and made me cry my face off.  It was very pretty and just the way Joanne would have wanted it to be if she had planned it herself.

Anyway, during the service, I naturally had my phone set to "Total Silence" mode--there are still some places where noisy smartphones would be totally inappropriate.  It turns out that it was a good thing I did, because sometime during the service I received a private message on Facebook that was one of these chain letter things, basically "pass this on to 14 friends within 10 minutes; if I don't get it back I'll know I'm not a close friend to you".

I just couldn't ignore the insensitivity, since anyone who would be my close friend would know where I was and what I was doing today.  So I replied, telling this person that I was at my wife's service and her message was really offensive to me.  Just as I was getting home, I got a reply back apologizing and saying she "didn't mean to send that to me," which made my decision a little bit harder, but I decided that for my protection, I had to let her go.  It was the second time since Jo's passing that she had inadvertently been very insensitive to me, and I just can't have that right now, it is hard enough--I am broken enough without letting a reckless puppy in to play with the pieces.
"If I cut you off from my life, chances are, you handed me the scissors."

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