And then after all the gifts were opened, all the food was served, there would set in this feeling of, "Okay, now what?"
I think I'm feeling that especially strongly today. I had made it important to me to make sure this holiday weekend was a tribute to her that I felt proud of, and I think I did that. Her birthday was good.
But now her birthday is yesterday. It is in the past. So now what?
Do I have an answer for that?
Long term, no. I don't.
Short term, I suppose I do; there is still a house to be cleaned, documents to find and legal-y stuff to take care of. There is still a German Shepherd who needs me. Maybe that is good enough to look at the short term right now. Feed the puppy, do laundry, do dishes. Look for the car title, start calling places that need called.
And maybe try to remember to take care of me. I actually set a reminder on my phone for 7:00 pm each night that says "Make sure to take care of yourself." Sometimes it still doesn't get done.