Heal Thyself

I've always imagined my 'role' to be that of a healer.  I think I might be a little too reserved to make a proper shaman, and while I can read Tarot at something of a beginner level, it certainly doesn't come easy enough that I consider myself a seer.  I think I can have a lot of good insights, but I don't know that I am comfortable enough with imparting the more difficult truths to be a proper sage.  But one thing I do love to do is heal.  I like to make people feel better, I like to make people happy, I like to bring comfort to people.

I imagine that even a machine can create food that has nutritional value, but I like to Craft my food to not only be nourishing but stimulating and comforting, to feed the body, mind, and soul.  Beyond that, I have been told I have 'magic fingers' when I massage.  I like the idea of being a healer, and I like to think maybe I am good at it.

There is a blind spot, however.  I've also been told that, despite how well I like to take care of others, I often neglect myself.  I've been asked why I don't try to heal myself the way I try to heal others.  I've been trying to answer that question for myself recently, and so far the only answer I've come up with is, "it's just different."  I mean, sure, I can give myself comfort food just like I can for anyone else (and I do, on occasion, which is probably why I've gained so much weight).  But even that feels different.

I was doing a reading for my partner this evening, and I think it might have occurred to me.  I think, when I heal, I am using some of my own energy, sending it out to the other person, and channeling Divine energy as it goes.  When I prepare a meal, I am putting some of my own energy into it to try to bring out its nourishing, healing properties.
If I were to do that toward myself, then all of a sudden I'm not sending my energy out anymore, I'm trying to draw energy in.  It's actually totally backwards.  I'm not sure I know how to even do that.

But, maybe I should focus on the "Three-fold Rule," as Wiccans refer to it...  If I send positive, healing energy out, it should come back to me--except magnified, channeling Divine energies as it goes.  Maybe I just need to make sure I'm accepting it when it comes around.