Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Avoidance is the Best Escape

...Escape is the best Survival, Survival is the best Victory.

Monday and yesterday were definitely better days at work.  I am still exhausted and it is going to take an act of willpower to go show up for this last one, but I can do it, and I know now that it will be a good day too.
Today is the full Flower Moon but I think I am going to put off going to the columbarium until tomorrow so I can be better rested and hopefully feeling more spiritual.

Being able to compare the three days last week to the three days this one, I realize that I actually love my job most of the time, despite the sometimes-grueling hours.  Unfortunately, about 15% of the time, I have to deal with this one 'person' who is a psychic vampire (those who don't believe in the concept of a spiritual assault would probably say "narcissistic sociopath") among the hundreds of good people I work with.
I'm realizing that whether it is a "good" day at work depends almost completely on whether he's working in my office that day.
My problem is, I'm an empath and I don't know how to wall off from somebody like this. I've tried, the past few times I've been around him, but he seems to get past the shield pretty quickly. He's had a lot more experience being a psychic predator than I've had trying to defend against one.

The thought crossed my mind that it's a shame my self-defense classes don't teach how to deal with psychic assaults, what the "Pre-Attack Indicators" are for somebody who plans to eat your soul.
Then I realize, they kind of do, at least in the title mantra. I don't need a pre-attack indicator, at least not anymore; I already know what he is. If I knew someone was a mugger, or a rapist, or a serial killer, my Plan 'A' would be to stay far, far away from them. I just need to keep him away from me.

So, I've put in paid-time-off requests for every single day he would have been scheduled to work with me. As far as my spiritual health goes, it is probably the single best use of my vacation time that I've ever thought of.
In the past I've let myself think, "well if I do that, then other people will have to deal with him", but you know what, I just have to protect me, and let them decide how to protect themselves.

I don't have the luxury of being the hero if I'm the most delicious thing on the menu.

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