I was going to make another Facebook status update, but I decided it felt right to come dust this off and write here instead. I may write here in place of Facebook more often, now; I think I often like to write longer and deeper entries than the Facebook platform is really for. And that's not even considering the recent "trust issues" surrounding that site.
So, the past few months in a nutshell (which will not be news to people who are connected to me on Facebook) is that I got referred by my doctor to a sleep specialist, got diagnosed with severe sleep apnea, spent a month waiting for insurance to approve treatment, and have now been on APAP therapy for two weeks. I'm doing very well with it as far as adjusting to sleeping with the equipment, and it's really helping with the severe chronic fatigue I was suffering from.
Now that I'm really starting to feel better, I feel like I'm at a bit of an impasse, or maybe "crossroads" would be a better word. Maybe it's that I'm not taking this energy for granted, right now, so it feels like a momentous decision when I'm thinking about how I'll want to spend it. I've given a lot of thought toward getting serious about starting to sell on eBay again, both to declutter and let go of things that don't fit anymore, and also in connection with my new numismatic hobby.
I've also been feeling, though, that I'd like to focus on simple things, especially at first. Just working on getting the house and the yard back in order, after letting things go while I wasn't feeling well, will feel nice, I think.
I'm also thinking I'd like to get back to cooking for myself; the thought just occurred to me tonight, I'll really be re-learning how to cook, this time cooking for one. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise to be out of the Kitchen for a while, so it will be a new beginning, instead of trying to adapt what worked when I was cooking for two.
And because I decided to write here, I ended up re-reading
my last entry, which this one seems to connect with perfectly. Ultimately, I don't want to pick the one thing from the list that I want to do, I want to balance things to create a nice, simple, and fulfilling life for myself. That said, I think I often make ambitious plans for myself; I think I will just need to make sure I ease my way into things so I can find where that balance point is. I can't go too far wrong with cleaning the house, of course, except by overdoing it; it didn't get this way in a day and I can fix it gradually, too. I don't have to create a whole bunch of eBay listings, I can start with one or two auctions just to get the confidence going again. I can find some simple recipes to make on days off, I don't have to jump straight into cooking every night no matter what.
I guess this means I'm at the same place I was a few months ago, just with enough energy to have a chance of getting it done. I just have to pace myself. It's funny, I can be extremely patient, in most ways, but not with things like this--I end up thinking of the girl from the Willy Wonka movie, "I want it
now!"
I probably still haven't even gotten the full effects of the sleep apnea treatment yet, honestly, so I know taking everything slow and steady would be sensible. But, to quote another kids' movie, "I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it." Who knows though, maybe I will surprise myself this time.
